Everyone needs some comedic relief once in a while, and the following ten stories about different drivers will have you cracking up in no time! Grab a beverage and delve into these tales, they\u2019re guaranteed to have you splitting your sides!\n\n\n\n

We can bet good money these stories will have you howling within seconds. From jokes about two elderly women driving together to a truck driver with a talking emu, buckle up because you\u2019re in for a ride!
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A priest and a taxi driver both passed away on the same day and found themselves at the gates of Heaven, where St. Peter was waiting for them.\n\n\n\n

\u201cPlease follow me,\u201d St. Peter said to the taxi driver, waving his hand.\n\n\n\n

The taxi driver followed obediently, and soon St. Peter led him to a massive mansion. It had everything one could imagine: an indoor theater, a heated pool, and even a personal golf course!\n\n\n\n

\u201cWow, thank you!\u201d said the taxi driver, astonished and pleased with his good fortune in the afterlife.\n\n\n\n

Then, St. Peter turned to the priest, who seemed anxious and excited to see where he\u2019d land. St. Peter led him to a small, run-down cabin. Inside was a creaky bunk bed and an old black-and-white TV with spotty reception.\n\n\n\n

\u201cExcuse me, but isn\u2019t there a mistake?\u201d asked the shocked priest. \u201cI was a PRIEST. I devoted my life to serving the church and spreading God\u2019s word.\u201d\n\n\n\n

St. Peter nodded thoughtfully. \u201cTrue, but during your sermons, people fell asleep. When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed!\u201d\n\n\n\n

A tour bus driver was cruising around town with a bus full of elderly folks when, suddenly, a little old lady tapped him on the shoulder. She smiled while handing him a handful of peanuts. Gratefully, he munched them down, thinking, \u201cOlder people are generous and kind.\u201d\n\n\n\n

About fifteen minutes later, she tapped him again and offered him another handful of peanuts, and he happily ate them.\n\n\n\n

This happened a few more times until, out of curiosity, he finally asked, \u201cWhy don\u2019t you all eat the peanuts yourselves? Maybe pass them around to the rest of the passengers?\u201d\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh, don\u2019t worry about us, dear,\u201d the old woman said with a sweet, toothless smile. \u201cWe just love sucking the chocolate off them.\u201d\n\n\n\n

An out-of-towner accidentally drove his car into a ditch on a lonely stretch of road. Fortunately, a local farmer spotted him and came over with his big, strong horse named Buddy. The farmer offered to assist and hitched Buddy to the car before shouting, \u201cPull, Nellie, pull!\u201d\n\n\n\n

Finally, the farmer casually said, \u201cAlright, pull, Buddy, pull!\u201d And just like that, Buddy easily pulled the car out of the ditch!\n\n\n\n

The motorist, grateful but puzzled, asked the farmer why he had called Buddy by different names before finally using his own.\n\n\n\n

The farmer chuckled and replied softly so the horse couldn\u2019t hear, \u201cWell, Buddy\u2019s blind. If he thought he was pulling alone, he wouldn\u2019t even bother trying!\u201d\n\n\n\n

As she was writing up his ticket, she happened to glance inside his car and noticed several machetes lying on the passenger seat.\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m a juggler,\u201d the driver explained. \u201cThey\u2019re props for my act.\u201d\n\n\n\n

The officer raised an eyebrow, feeling uncertain. \u201cProve it,\u201d she demanded.\n\n\n\n

Sighing, the driver stepped out, grabbed the machetes, and began juggling them. He started with three, then added more until he was juggling seven at once! He tossed them overhand, underhand, even behind his back, dazzling the officer!\n\n\n\n

A passing driver slowed down, did a double-take, and muttered to himself, \u201cMan, I really need to quit drinking! Look at the sobriety tests they\u2019re using now!\u201d\n\n\n\n

One Monday, a truck driver strolled into a diner off the highway with a full-grown emu following close behind.\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ll take a burger, fries, and a coffee,\u201d the truck driver said. He glanced at the emu, \u201cWhat about you?\u201d\n\n\n\n

Having seen it all, the waitress brought their food and told them, \u201cThat\u2019ll be $10.50.\u201d\n\n\n\n

The truck driver reached into his pocket, pulled out the exact change, and handed it over!\n\n\n\n

The next day, the duo returned. He ordered the same meal, and the emu echoed, \u201cSame for me, please.\u201d\n\n\n\n

Once again, the waitress charged him the same price, and he reached into his pocket, producing the exact change!\n\n\n\n

This continued for several days. Then, one evening, they walked in again, and the waitress asked, \u201cThe usual?\u201d\n\n\n\n

\u201cNope, it\u2019s Friday night. I\u2019ll have a steak, baked potato, and a salad,\u201d said the truck driver.\n\n\n\n

The waitress brought their food and said, \u201cThat\u2019ll be $32.65.\u201d\n\n\n\n

Without missing a beat, the truck driver reached into his pocket and, once again, had the exact change!\n\n\n\n

Finally, the waitress couldn\u2019t contain her curiosity. \u201cAlright, I have to know. How do you always have the exact change on you every single time?\u201d\n\n\n\n

The truck driver grinned. \u201cWell, a few years back, I was cleaning out my shed and stumbled on an old lamp. When I polished it up, a genie popped out and granted me two wishes. My first wish was that anytime I had to pay for something, I could just reach in my pocket, and the exact change would be there.\u201d\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat\u2019s brilliant!\u201d said the impressed waitress. \u201cNo need for a million bucks\u2026 you\u2019ll never run out of money!\u201d\n\n\n\n

\u201cExactly,\u201d said the truck driver, smiling. \u201cWhether it\u2019s a pack of gum or a new car, I\u2019ve always got the exact amount!\u201d\n\n\n\n

The waitress, still eyeing the emu, finally curiously asked, \u201cSo, what about the bird?\u201d\n\n\n\n

The truck driver sighed and shrugged. \u201cWell, my second wish was for a tall bird with long legs and a great personality who\u2019d agree with everything I say.\u201d\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"