{"id":6298,"date":"2024-12-02T00:09:48","date_gmt":"2024-12-02T00:09:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/runeecho.com\/?p=6298"},"modified":"2024-12-02T00:09:48","modified_gmt":"2024-12-02T00:09:48","slug":"hilarious-dating-fails-jokes-that-will-leave-you-in-stitches","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeecho.com\/hilarious-dating-fails-jokes-that-will-leave-you-in-stitches\/","title":{"rendered":"Hilarious Dating Fails: Jokes That Will Leave You in Stitches!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
I was scrolling through a dating app and ended up matching with someone who didn\u2019t have a profile pic. Feeling like I needed something different, I took a leap and went to meet her.\n\n\n\n
I didn\u2019t think I\u2019d be blown away, just figured I\u2019d meet someone a bit unpolished, but when I got there, I was totally taken aback. She was absolutely gorgeous: 5\u20192\u2033, with baby blue eyes, strawberry blonde hair, and just the right curves in all the right places.\n\n\n\n
Curious, I asked her what she did for a living. \u201cI teach Sunday school,\u201d she casually mentioned.\n\n\n\n
I had never gone out with a Christian girl before, but I found it pretty interesting. As we cruised to dinner, I sparked up a cigarette and casually asked if she wanted one too.\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh, heavens no,\u201d she said, \u201cWhat would I even tell my Sunday school kids?\u201d\n\n\n\n
That makes sense, I figured. Some folks light up, while others pass on it.\n\n\n\n
So, at the restaurant, I went for the steak, she chose the lobster, and I asked for the second priciest bottle of wine on the menu. When the wine showed up, she passed on a glass.\n\n\n\n
You can unsubscribe anytime. For more details, review our Privacy Policy.Subscribe\n\n\n\n \u201cSo, you\u2019re not into drinking?\u201d I couldn\u2019t help but ask, feeling a bit taken aback.\n\n\n\n She just shook her head. \u201cOh, come on, what would I even say to my Sunday school kids?\u201d\n\n\n\n The dinner and conversation were fantastic, but I just couldn\u2019t put my finger on her. On my way back, I spotted a budget motel and thought, why not give it a shot?\n\n\n\n \u201cHow about we grab a room and have some fun?\u201d I asked, feeling a bit on edge.\n\n\n\n She gave a playful wink and said, \u201cI thought you\u2019d never ask!\u201d\n\n\n\n Shocked, I chuckled and joked, \u201cSeriously?\u201d What are you planning to share with your Sunday school kids about this?\n\n\n\n She flashed a cheeky grin and said, \u201cThe same thing I tell them every week: You don\u2019t have to smoke or drink to have a good time!\u201d\n\n\n\n So, Dorothy and Edna, these two lovely old widows, are having a chat.\n\n\n\n Dorothy says, \u201cThat nice George Johnson asked me out on a date.\u201d <text\u201dI heard you went out with him last week, and I wanted to chat with you about him before I make my decision.\u201d\n\n\n\n Edna says, \u201cAlright, let me give you the scoop on what went down last week!\u201d George arrived at my place right on the dot at 7 P.M., looking like a true gentleman in a sharp suit, and he brought along some gorgeous flowers!\n\n\n\n So, he led me downstairs, and guess what? There it was\u2014a luxury car\u2026 a full-on limousine, complete with a uniformed chauffeur and everything.\n\n\n\n \u201cThen he took me out for dinner\u2026 it was a fantastic meal.\u201d Lobster, champagne, dessert, and some after-dinner drinks to top it all off. So, we decided to check out a show. Honestly, Dorothy, I had such a great time that I could have just died from happiness! But then, on our way back to my place, he totally transformed into a wild beast!\n\n\n\n Dorothy exclaims, \u201cWow, can you believe it!\u201d What are you talking about?\n\n\n\n \u201cHe ripped my pricey dress right off!\u201d\n\n\n\n GET THE BEST STORIES TO YOUR INBOX\n\n\n\n Put your email down here to SUBSCRIBE:SUBSCRIBE\n\n\n\n \u201cSo, I guess I shouldn\u2019t go on a date with him?\u201d Dorothy\u2019s got a question.\n\n\n\n No, I\u2019m just saying\u2026 put on a vintage dress.\n\n\n\n So, Thomas, who\u2019s 32, is still flying solo. His buddy goes, \u201cSo, what\u2019s up with not having a wife yet?\u201d \u201cSo, have you come across anyone you actually like?\u201d\n\n\n\n Thomas says, \u201cOh, I\u2019ve come across a lot of amazing women.\u201d Every time I bring them home to meet my mom, she just can\u2019t seem to approve.\n\n\n\n \u201cJust find someone like your mom, it\u2019s an easy fix!\u201d my friend suggests.\n\n\n\n After a few months, they run into each other again. My friend goes, \u201cHey, did you give my advice a shot?\u201d\n\n\n\n Thomas lets out a sigh, saying, \u201cI found a woman just like my mom.\u201d She\u2019s just amazing, and my mom totally loves her.\n\n\n\n \u201cHey, what\u2019s going on?\u201d\n\n\n\n \u201cMy dad really can\u2019t stand her.\u201d\n\n\n\n I went on a blind date with someone I connected with on a dating app. We both skipped the profile pics, but I like to think I\u2019m pretty good-looking. I was definitely feeling a bit on edge. What if she just wasn\u2019t my type?\n\n\n\n Luckily, I stumbled upon this app called \u201cMom, Hey, are you doing alright? Your phone is set to ring just after you meet your date. If you\u2019re into them, you just let the call slide. If not, you just say, \u201cMom?\u201d \u201cWhat\u2019s up?\u201d and then just bounce out.\n\n\n\n Knocking on her door made all my worries fade away. She looked absolutely stunning. Just as I was about to speak, her phone started ringing.\n\n\n\n Hey, Mom? What\u2019s going on? Hey, are you doing alright?\n\n\n\n A guy\u2019s sitting by himself at a swanky restaurant when he spots a gorgeous redhead at the table next to him. Even though he\u2019s a bit too shy to actually say hi, he can\u2019t help but keep stealing glances at her.\n\n\n\n Out of nowhere, she sneezes, and to his shock, a glass eye pops out of its socket, zooming right toward him. He snags it out of the air with quick reflexes and tosses it back to her.\n\n\n\n Feeling a bit sheepish, she admits, \u201cI\u2019m really sorry!\u201d <text\u201dHey, how about I treat you to dinner to make things right?\u201d\n\n\n\n He meets up with her, and they grab dinner, catch a show, order some drinks, and dive into a meaningful chat. As the night wraps up, she asks him to come over, and he decides to stick around.\n\n\n\n The next morning, she cooks up a fancy breakfast. He looks on in awe and says, \u201cYou\u2019re absolutely perfect.\u201d \u201cDo you treat every guy you meet like this?\u201d\n\n\n\n She grins and says, \u201cNope.\u201d You totally caught my attention.\n\n\n\n After a rough breakup, I figured it was time to get my life back on track. First up: Hit the gym to get back in shape and maybe catch the eye of someone special.\n\n\n\n At the gym, I turned to the trainer and asked, \u201cWhich machine here is going to help me catch the eye of the most beautiful women?\u201d\n\n\n\n He looked me over, took a moment, and then said, \u201cThe ATM outside.\u201d\n\n\n\n A guy thinks about getting his new girlfriend a Christmas gift. Since they\u2019ve just started dating three weeks ago, he\u2019s looking for something nice but not too intimate. He goes for a stylish pair of gloves.\n\n\n\n He decides to bring her younger sister along to help him choose the right style and get her take on it. She spots a stylish pair of white gloves in the store, and he decides to buy them. While out shopping, the sister grabs herself a new pair of panties.\n\n\n\n Little did they know, the cashier mixed up the packages by mistake. The guy totally ends up with panties in the gift box instead of gloves, and he has no idea!\n\n\n\n He\u2019s feeling pretty proud of his choice, so he writes a heartfelt note to go along with the gift:\n\n\n\n Hey there,\n\n\n\n I picked these since I saw you don\u2019t usually wear any when we head out at night.\n\n\n\n If it wasn\u2019t for your sister, I totally would have gone for the longer style with buttons, but she mentioned that the shorter ones are way easier to take off.\n\n\n\n They\u2019re a soft color, but the saleswoman promised me they\u2019ll hold up just fine even after three weeks of use. She even tried them on for me, and they looked amazing!\n\n\n\n I really wish I could be there to help you out with putting them on for the first time. I know others will take care of things before I get to see you again, but that\u2019s cool.\n\n\n\n When you take them off, just remember to give them a little blow inside to keep them fresh. It\u2019s totally normal for them to feel a bit damp after wearing. No big deal!\n\n\n\n Just imagine all the times I\u2019ll be kissing them over the year. I really hope you\u2019ll rock those on Christmas Eve for me!\n\n\n\n By the way, the newest style is to fold them down a bit to show off some fur.\n\n\n\n A guy is juggling three girlfriends and trying to figure out which one he should tie the knot with. To simplify his decision, he devises a little test.\n\n\n\n He hands each woman $5,000 and watches how they choose to spend it.\n\n\n\n The first woman just blows all the cash on herself. She hits up a fancy salon for a makeover, grabs a fresh wardrobe, and treats herself to some stylish accessories. She says to him, \u201cI wanted to look my best for you because I love you.\u201d\n\n\n\n The guy is pretty impressed.\n\n\n\n She spends the cash on gifts for him. She hooks him up with a top-notch set of golf clubs, gives his computer a serious upgrade, and picks out some tailored suits for him. As she hands him the gifts, she smiles and says, \u201cI spent everything on you because I want to see you happy\u2014I love you.\u201d\n\n\n\n Once more, the guy is blown away.\n\n\n\n The third woman puts her cash into the stock market. After raking in a nice profit, she hands back his $5,000 and stashes the rest in a joint account. She says, \u201cI wanted to build our future together because I love you.\u201d\n\n\n\n He\u2019s totally impressed by her money smarts.\n\n\n\n He really takes his time to ponder the women and the decisions they make.\n\n\n\n In the end, he ties the knot with the one who has the most impressive assets.\n\n\n\n A couple of seniors, each having lost their spouses, had been seeing each other for a while now. After a lot of nudging from their pals, they finally made the leap and decided to get hitched.\n\n\n\n One evening, just before the wedding, they gathered for dinner to chat about finances, living arrangements, and all that good stuff.\n\n\n\n Eventually, the guy cleared his throat and carefully brought up a touchy subject: their physical relationship.\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat are your thoughts on making love?\u201d he inquired, a bit unsure.\n\n\n\n The woman paused for a second, then said with a warm smile, \u201cI\u2019d prefer it not too often.\u201d\n\n\n\n The guy was deep in thought, fiddling with his glasses, leaning in a bit, and casually asked, \u201cIs that one word or two?\u201d\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Dating is full of awkward moments, unexpected mishaps, and unforgettable blunders. Sometimes, the cringiest dates turn into the funniest stories! We\u2019ve all experienced it \u2014 […]\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6299,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeecho.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6298"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeecho.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeecho.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeecho.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeecho.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6298"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/runeecho.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6298\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6300,"href":"https:\/\/runeecho.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6298\/revisions\/6300"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeecho.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6299"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeecho.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6298"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeecho.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6298"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeecho.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6298"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}The Widow\u2019s Wardrobe Wisdom\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\n
Thomas\u2019 Mom and Dad Dilemma\n\n\n\n
Blind Date Backup Plan\n\n\n\n
The Perfect Catch\n\n\n\n
The Gym\u2019s Secret Attraction Machine\n\n\n\n
A Mixed-Up Christmas Surprise\n\n\n\n
The $5,000 Test\n\n\n\n
Love and Semantics\n\n\n\n